My name is Eloise Hadlow, and I was diagnosed with cervical cancer at the age of 32.
My journey goes back to 2020, when I had a routine smear test which came back as HPV positive and showed abnormal cells. I was sent for a colposcopy where they didn’t see anything abnormal, so I was put on a one-year recall. A year later, I was pregnant with my daughter, so the smear test didn’t happen. Fast forward to 2022, my daughter was born, and I had my smear test—results were HPV positive, but cells negative. A few months later, my symptoms started. I began to have irregular bleeding, pelvic pain, pain during and after intimacy, and a few months later the weight began to drop.
Due to just having had a child and going back to work, I had an excuse to cover all my symptoms. I came across a video on TikTok in early 2023 which stated the symptoms of ovarian cancer, and that’s when alarm bells began to ring. I plucked up the courage to visit the Well Woman clinic in the Primary Care Centre. Dr Gonzalez, after hearing all my symptoms, did a smear test and sent me directly to the Gynaecology Department for another colposcopy, where a biopsy was taken.
Upon arriving for my colposcopy, my smear results were back and once again I was HPV positive but had normal cells. Just under two weeks later, I received a phone call from the Gynaecology Department asking me to go in. At this point, I was told I needed to have a LLETZ procedure to remove the abnormal cells. Once the samples came back, I was then told the horrible news.
Hearing the words “it’s cancer” really did throw me into a state of shock. Everything became a blur, and I just wanted to laugh and make jokes due to my nerves.
From the point of receiving my diagnosis and awaiting departure to the UK for the Royal Marsden, I tried to keep life as normal as I could. I was numb, upset, and worried for the future.
It affected all kinds of relationships in my life—I became distant with some due to not knowing what the outcome would be and grew closer to others who became my biggest support system. But life had to continue, especially as I had two young children (a five-year-old and a one-year-old), and I refused to worry them with mummy being sick.
Cervical screenings are still a very taboo subject, at least they were when I was diagnosed, which is why I raise so much awareness—especially about the signs we, as women, need to look out for. My awareness isn’t just aimed at women but men also. Men have mothers, sisters, aunts, partners etc., and it’s good for them to know the signs too, to help encourage women to seek medical advice or treatment. Ladies, I know cervical screenings can be intimidating, but it’s literally two minutes of very little discomfort—if even that—to potentially save your life.
From my diagnosis, everything felt like it moved pretty quickly, despite it being a month and a half from diagnosis to leaving for the UK. My friends, family, and ex-husband were my biggest rocks. Luckily, I worked in the Primary Care Centre at the time and had a lot of medical support too when I would break down. I didn’t let many people know I had been diagnosed with cancer until I was on my way to the UK. That’s when I began to raise awareness. I posted on my social media about the importance of not missing your smears and my reasons behind it—even though I never missed mine.
Once I made it “public,” my army grew ridiculously big! The support I received was overwhelming, yet it gave me that boost to put up a fight.
Once I was in the UK, my normal day-to-day routine went out the window, leaving me feeling rather lost. I saw myself slowly beginning to dive deep into my thoughts. My children were my biggest reason to fight—to face any and every obstacle thrown my way. I was given an opportunity to send a recording to the GBC radio show about my diagnosis and where I was currently at, which gave me a purpose. At that point, I was searching for anything and everything to try and help others seek medical attention if they were experiencing any of the symptoms. This is something I still do today.
Looking back at my journey, I wish I had known that I was going to be okay. Not knowing how things would turn out haunted me. For me, hearing the word “cancer” felt like a death sentence, as you don’t know if it’s been caught early enough until all the tests have been run. Thankfully, I just needed to have major surgery (a radical hysterectomy). The surgery itself went well, but unfortunately, I tested positive for COVID-19 and then developed pneumonia 24 hours after surgery, leaving me fighting for my life. Luckily, I came out the other end safely, thanks to the hands of the medical team, and I dealt with it with humour—my biggest coping mechanism.
After spending eight weeks in the UK, I was finally given my “all clear” and was able to return to Gibraltar. This is when it all hit me mentally. I was no longer functioning on autopilot and began to process the last four months of suffering, worry, fear, and anxiety. This is when I reached out to Cancer Relief for therapy. They guided me through my hardest thoughts, helped me find coping mechanisms, helped me realise my inner strength, and gave me that light at the end of the tunnel—that I was “okay.” I’ll forever live in fear of cancer returning, and now I take any symptom, whether small or big, seriously. I no longer look for excuses and make sure I am seen by medical professionals as soon as possible.
Having gone through this has given me a bigger appreciation for life. All that we take for granted is now a blessing to me.
If I could describe my journey in three words, it would be:
- Fear – for not knowing what was to come
- Hope – I needed to keep my hopes up that all would be okay, as I believe in the laws of attraction
- Gratefulness – for the medical professionals, my support system, and Cancer Relief, who got me through some of the darkest days of my life
Since my diagnosis, I’ve made it a point to be someone people can talk to—those who may have symptoms they want to talk about, someone who is or will be going through testing, or someone who has just been diagnosed. I realised during my testing and diagnosis that it was very hard to speak to someone who hadn’t experienced what I was going through, as there wasn’t much they could say apart from “you’ll be okay.” I found it easier speaking to someone who understood my fears and worries, and it gave me that extra bit of hope speaking to my fellow survivors.
I cannot stress enough to all women—get your smears done when they’re due. Time is on our side, and early detection will save your life. It may even prevent you from developing cancer. So please, ladies—don’t miss them.
I’m hoping that women who are currently going through a diagnosis—or are yet to face it (hopefully no one does!)—know that there are survival stories, there is hope, and we are here to help. I will always have my hand out to help guide if needed, to reassure, to be a shoulder to cry on, or even just an ear to listen.
But more importantly, not only does Cancer Relief offer support to those battling or who have battled cancer, but also to their family members. There’s no need to be ashamed to reach out for help.
